Which is your fear ? Given anxiety is the most common mental illness we know surprisingly little about it. We certainly haven’t found the best way of either avoiding or eradicating it.
There are 4 groups of fear. Catastrophic fears are when we believe that bad things are going to happen all the time. Separation anxiety is a very common sign of this kind of phobia. The trouble is it rubs off on children. If a child can feel that their parent is worried about separation, they will fear it . The parent fears that if they leave the child physically, something really bad will happen. OCD very often stems form this also. Many develop rituals that have to be performed in order them to feel comfortable about leaving for short periods of time. I remember my Dad having to go round every electric socket and check every window in the house 3 times before we could leave to go on holiday.
What on earth is Dad doing ?
This developed as a phobia in me also. Everyone else had to be out of the house so that everything could be checked without the distraction . Deep down you know it’s irrational and that’s another reason for not wanting anyone else to be in the house . We know it is purely for our peace of mind and has no bearing on how others feel at all.
That’s where we are wrong because other’s are affected by our anxiety. I remember sitting in the car with my mother and sister waiting for my Dad to get in the car feeling ready to finally leave for the west country. This actually made me more anxious to leave the house because as a child it thought ” if Dad’s worried it must be something to worry about “.
Evaluation is the big one. The fear that people are judging you for whatever reason. It generally stems from of our parents and peers have made fun or judged us at some point. The children we went to nursery or school with. Children in particular can be very cruel to their peers. It leads to withdrawal of the person’s true character and suppressed personality traits. A downward spiral will almost certainly come from that when the child goes into adolescence and adulthood. There relationships are likely to suffer a lack of intimacy and depth. Coming from a lack of confidence to show the real character.
Anyone truly interested in you will be judging you or laughing at you. The right person to be in an intimate relationship with will make you feel like you are “home”. You will realise that home is not where you live, it’s the relationship. You build your own little universe. The only place you feel safe to be you and completely you. Nothing is hidden. Nothing is held back. From that place you are free to love each other properly and without reservation. This is when your anxieties will leave you.
Social media is to blame for the growing issues in young people particularly. Endless scrolling to see if anyone has written anything about them that is negative. Have they posted photos? or posted something that is going to hurt me ? The more you look the more it becomes a need to look. You are spiraling down and down again. Today’s news is housing tmrw’s take aways’.