WHEN THE FLOOD GATES OPEN …… even if you don’t have PTSD, many anxiety and depression conditions tend to require us to open the flood gates at some points of our lives for whatever reason. When you keep going and going without showing your true emotions . There is only so long you can sustain that without breaking. The strongest people have the worst time when it comes to anxiety and depression.
If you have had a moderate to serious episode of anxiety or depression and needed medication always make sure you know the implications. Importantly always ask a doctor for advice. Realize that at some point the flood gates will have to open and let some of the emotion out. Being on large doses of SSRI’s for the long term after you are back on your feet only puts this off.
WHICH SONG BEST RESONATES WITH YOU AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME.
The submerged overwhelm and suppressed emotion that put you down in the first place will bubble under the surface in the subconscious. Music is a very good way of being mindful. Our brains resonate with music and if the lyrics of a song resonate with us then we connect. Connection is a very effective way of helping us connect with ourselves and others. Think of a song that currently resonates with you. It can be something in the lyrics or the type of music and the beat resonates with how you feel in terms of mood.
In my own experience of growing up in and from a quite stoic family . Showing or displaying emotion was seen as almost unattractive . Stiff upper lip. Crying was always an annoyance. I learnt not to cry when upset . Since learning that crying was a release of pressure and emotion the whole processing of emotion became easier. However it left me with an empathic , almost fear of hearing people cry.
WHEN THE FLOOD GATES OPEN it can be like a scene from the Dam Busters
Instead of crying I would vomit. Not in the same way as the manifestation of an eating disorder, but more as a release of emotional pressure. If I was sick I didn’t have to admit that it was emotional. Denial was easier. Oh it must be something wrong with my stomach. Although when this happened I was ridiculed for it. Called a drama queen, weird. One of those who told me it was “strange” and that my perception was one of ridicule was a mental health expert and also called herself a friend.
Again it comes down to not being afraid to be yourself On successful withdrawal from SSRI’S allowing the water to leak through the flood gates instead of our “dam busters” scene. It is decidedly easier and more healthy. If you have experienced an episode of anxiety or depression then short term use of medication is a very effective “walking stick” to get you back on track in your daily routine and stop the symptoms escalating. Again from experience allowing it to escalate out of control is not an option as it will take longer and more in the way of medical intervention to get back up.
Going to the doctor and asking for help when you can feel the symptoms triggering and when they are persistent for more than a few days. This means the situation will be helped and minimalized with a small, stabilising dose of SSRI’s for a short term. The smaller the close, the easier it will be to come off them.
The realisation that a huge portion of my life had been spent people pleasing was quite annoying. People pleasing is classic manifestation of anxiety disorders. Doing whatever you think people will like you for. If you are having to change your basic character in order to keep certain people in your life. If you are having to surpress emotions in order to fit in or keep certain people in your life then STOP NOW. Why? for one point , those that expect you to do that for them have far bigger issues than yours and at some point they will want you to change again. Your efforts will not keep people happy because you are not the problem.
Always be yourself. If you do this you will be surprised at who stands by you. Never the ones that you have been dancing on hot coals for for years ! Always those that stayed in the background waiting for “you” to come back out.
Home is when you are in the company of those who make you feel at home .