The Giving Tree
Are you are parent? Do you feel you are a “giving tree”? I think we all do at times. As a matter of fact in one way or another we give until there’s nothing left and then the kids sit on the stump. Legacy being the stump. It all happens again. Parenting is all about giving isn’t it? when I became a parent, I didn’t think there was a wrong way of giving but there is.
Beg, steal and borrow. That’s what we all do for our kids. Would you give your life? before you answer, really think about it. When I gave birth for the second time it nearly came to that decision. It came down to me or the baby. I chose the baby and as it happens I came through it. If you were to look at the situation with purely logical eyes I shouldn’t have. Maybe it was a test to see what decision I would take. Test of strength definitely in a physical sense. However I didn’t find the decision for the hospital to save the baby’s life difficult. My then husband saw it differently.
What would you give for a relationship?
What would you sacrifice for a relationship? sacrifice is inevitable and necessary. All part of compromise. But how far would you go ? or indeed should you go? If your partner loves you then sacrificing too much is not going to work because they will feel your unhappiness. Wanting each other to be happy is all part of being in love. Line between people pleasing and making the effort can get blurred. Communication is the key to knowing where that line is. Making sure that they understand your needs and communicate their own. Avoiding difficult conversations will breed misunderstanding.
Compromise but never lose your self respect. Give but think of your giving as pruning the Giving Tree so that it blossoms more each year. Cut away dead wood by talking about anything that doesn’t feel right. Never be pushed into anything in the bedroom that makes you feel uncomfortable but be prepared to try new things and keep the intimacy alive.
The Giving Tree
Growing together is the secret to a long term future together. Growing at the same time and rate. Changing is inevitable and none of us stay the same people. Making decisions with each other in mind and decisions that you can both be a part of. making huge sacrifices for a relationship that isn’t equal will only breed resentment. Giving the whole tree until the only thing left is the stump means you have lost who you are. Letting your chew you down to the stump is forgivable but letting a partner do it is a huge mistake. Ending up without the relationship and your identity. I used to ask my Dad how I would know when a relationship with right, His answer was “you will just know “. A degree of that is true, but it takes really knowing someone and allowing them to really know you. Trickiest part is allowing them to know the real you.