Some see through the eyes of the old before they ever get a look at the young. Missing out on seeing the world through the eyes of a child is tragic. Seeing the wonder of christmas and birthdays for example. I know of two sisters who had exactly this trouble. forced to grow up too early through circumstance. Due to being the last one left at home to look after their long term disabled mother and sharing an unhealthy relationship with her mother.
Some see through the eyes of the old
The idea is that we see the world through young eyes first before responsibility hits. My sister and I are prime examples. Being the older sister in years I have always been the younger one in mind. Seeing this in many siblings I have come across so far. Second children come along and the first born tends to rebel slightly against it by trying to become the baby again. Acting out in different ways to gain the attention of the parents. Mainly putting themselves in potentially dangerous situations to make themselves vulnerable.
Is it normal for parents to have favorites?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/sibling-rivalry/art-20046568
Looking at my own family. Members of my family were put on pedestals by their parents. Coupled with where they were in the birthing order has caused some of the most spectacular dramas. Similarly grandparents tend to favor certain grandchildren. Therefore why do we favor some over others. It’s the same as the reasons we choose our friends and chosen family. Family by it’s very definition are people were trust and are close to. All being individuals means that we naturally connect with some and not others. Parental rejection is just more painful.
Can you honestly say you are proud of all your children ?
Naturally we say “Yes” immediately. But really think about it. Prominent member of my family made it from humble beginnings to a TV success story. Leaving his sister to live up to the expectations now set by their parents. His sister uses her health to get the sympathy and attention of the family. The problem is those expectations then fall to their children. Looking at the situation from a distant viewpoint you start to see that the pattern of new parents trying to live their expectations through their children because they become afraid of failure. If they can produce children that are successful then the grandparents may love their children again and their grandchildren.
Increasing anger issues in children is starting to rise because the pressure of expectation. As we push our children further and further to achieve what we wanted to achieve. Mental health is sure to suffer. Before you can answer questions about your children honestly you have to be proud of your own achievements. Proud of yourself or what you have achieved in life so far. Until we can learn to accept our own limitations, how can we say we are proud of our children ? Learning honesty with yourself is not an easy mission at all. But it is achievable !!