“GASLIGHTING” what is it ?
What is it? Well, it’s insidious Mainly active in relationships. The abuser fears losing their partner. An undermining of confidence and self esteem takes place.
This is a way of projecting their emotions onto their partner. This will bring about a sense of doubt n the target Their main . Separating their partner from others. Making them ultimately believe that it’s “you and me” against the world. attempt to be insidious. The most classic trait of these individuals is making their significant other doubt themselves. Even their own sanity in the end. There are many red flag warning signs to look out for.
Look out for the warning signs
We have all done it
Yes that’s correct. You read it right. We have all done this at some point. At some point in a relationship we have used some form of Gaslighting. It’s human nature to want to come out on top. Semi intentional gaslighting is very common in relationships. It is a form of “people pleasing”. Many people will deny how they feel in order to avoid a conflict. If there is a situation they want to avoid, they will allow you to think they feel differently. This form of gaslighting isn’t used with the intention of causing harm. In fact it’s a misguided attempt at avoiding it.
Malicious intentional gaslighting
Having been the target of this type of abuse in a relationship that lasted 8 years. I do empathize with anyone who has been a target for this type of abuse. It starts slowly with being raised on a pedestal. Then you are made to believe that they are doing you a favor by staying in the relationship. Then the light hearted jabs start. Planting the seeds of self doubt.
It starts to make you feel confused and slowly eats away at your self esteem. The next stage is needless conflict. Most of the time about the same subject over and over. It all happens so slowly that you don’t notice until it gets almost unbearable. Gaslighters tend to be those that want to always appear superior in every relationship. This cycle of behavior is generally the side shot of a sociopathic or narcissistic personality disorder. it is not about you, everything is about them. It feels like you are being mentally submissive.
Don’t emotionally over draw
A relationship is like a bank account. It’s never a good idea to go overdrawn. Think of the relationship like you are paying into the bank. Both partners must pay in equal amounts or it goes over drawn. Even though they are ones not paying in, they will make you feel indebted to them. The final stage is isolation of the target. The “you and me against the world ” scenario. Try your hardest to avoid this. It is so difficult to pull out of. Be strong if you are the target. Ask for help.