DO WE EVER REALLY KNOW ANYONE ?
How do we know when a person is hiding something from us? Is it instinct ? can we trust our “gut feeling?”
In my own experience I trust my gut feeling and it has never failed me yet. When you are proved correct and it’s still a shock. How do we deal with being blind sided by those we care for? It churns up so many emotions at once. Anger, fear, self doubt and in some cases disgust. We are all born with a sixth sense to keep us safe. This sense has developed over the evolution of man from sensing when we are on the menu for lunch, to who is hiding a dangerous second personality !
A recent case of this in my own personal circle has left a whole group of us feeling, well, speechless to say the least. it’s gaslighting on a grand scale. I have to give this particular person 11/10 for managing to do it to several people at the same time. That kind multitasking takes skill, energy and time. what if you feel total horror at the reason behind it all into the bargain? The answer is, try and forgive. Whatever the person is guilty of, forgive and hope that one day they look back and learn from what they have done. What should we learn from it? The trick is not to have too many negative emotions surrounding it.
LOCK IT AWAY
Take the anger, resentment and imagine yourself locking it in a little box. Then turn the key and tuck it away in your mind. Don’t allow someone else’s issues to affect the way you behave. Remember, you are not the problem. Especially if that person has done something that is highly illegal, hurtful, deceitful and damaging. Committed an offence that will have an effect on the lives of many for years to come. Take that negativity and turn it positive.
We can be grateful that we are not driven to such behavior traits. That we have the strength of mind and character to know right and wrong. We are not going to change what happened so there is nothing to be gained by carrying that negativity in our own minds. Let that stay where it originated. There are individuals that just don’t understand what they have done is so wrong. If this is the case, try not to feel frustration. Instead, hope that they receive the help they need. it is not for us to hand out punishment or judgement. They must judge themselves and then the punishment will be in there own minds. They will spend eternity playing that out.
The most accomplished gaslighters are masters at creating smoke screens. This is how they manage to fool us and carry on with their reprehensible behavior. Let them deal with the fall out. Don’t let it stick to you. It will knock you off balance. It takes a special kind of strength to forgive some people and then move on. To be able to thank them in your mind for making your heart that bit stronger and your character that bit deeper.
They say we live in our minds. That “hell” is our life gone wrong. Don’t go to hell with them. Make your own life your heaven.