Children of Narcissistic parents. narcissism has a connection with rage built in childhood. Narcissistic parents tend to use their children as scapegoats. Just like jealousy provokes those who are jealous of you to use you as a scapegoat.
For their own short comings many narcissists, including parents, will use those that love them the most as scapegoats. When i was a small child , right from the word go my own mother hated my close bond with my father. I got more attention in her eyes than she did and that is not allowed. The resent, jealousy and bitter feelings that rose in her killed any normal mother/daughter relationship stone dead before it even got going. It was even my fault that child birth hurt !!
it all resulted in an unnaturally close connection with my sister. Just like a few narcs I know , they have to receive your total, unwavering devotion or nothing at all. It also tends to lead to the thwarted child seeking out a partner in adulthood who is like the narc parent. This is a subconscious attempt to please someone like the parent. In my personal experience I had 2 partners who were very much like my mother just male versions. The need to be loved and valued by someone like them would take the pain away from the angry thwarted child still inside. But why is narcissism handed down?
Narcissism really is taking a hold
It’s a growing trend though because the rise of narcissism with the invention of social media and the selfie. A generation of young people obsessed with taking pictures of themselves and putting them on facebook. Peer and public approval are becoming a necessity to people’s mental health. Self admiration rather than self love are being mistaken for one another. Many children are going into adulthood with a lack or nurturing that is clearly coming from a narcissistic up bringing. They become people pleasers. If a narc manages to land a people pleaser for a partner it’s like all their christmas and birthday presents come all together!
Narcs are master emotional manipulators. The gaslighting that goes on is unreal. Although if their supply stops supplying their ego with sunshine, the rage and resentment that will follow pails Chernobyl into insignificance. If their walking ego boost decides to walk away then they look to blame anyone but themselves. We can never see the damage caused by their abuse until we are out of the immediate situation.
But if you walk away from a narcissist be prepared and make sure you have support around you. You will be subjected to a barrage of love bombing. They will promise to change and basically anything in order to win you back. If you manage to resist this, the venom and latent rage that will follow is quite something to behold. Like a toddler that has lost their favorite toy, and guess what it will all be your fault. How very dare you !!!
to be continued