DO YOU FEAR CHANGES ? TO YOUR ROUTINE? TO YOUR LIFE ALTOGETHER ?
CHANGE AND THE CRIPPLING FEAR OF IT. Change has been something we have all had to get used to in one way or another due to the pandemic this year. Not one of us can say we will not be glad to see the back of 2020. New year’s eve can not come soon enough for many. Personally change is something I am slowly getting better at dealing with. However it is a lesson I have been dragged to kicking and screaming. Big changes in a child’s life must be handled with care and teach them how to handle it. A dramatic parental divorce can shape the way a child processes emotion for the rest of their lives. However it’s never too late to learn.
Children that grow up around conflict and violence will learn to process conflict easier than love and compassion. Social learning means that we all tend to learn by observing those that we love and respect. Admiration and respect are two strong emotions that inspire us. Watching, listening and learning from everything the objects of our love do. On the birth of my first child, the terror of parenthood was not what I thought. Knowledge of how to look after a baby physically came naturally. The most difficult part was processing my own emotions. Of course there’s the processing of emotion from those around you. Unfortunately that was not something I was used to doing.
CHANGE AND THE CRIPPLING FEAR OF IT
Fear of change is not actually a fear of change. The fear is of our own ability to process that change. Make the transition through those changes smoothly. As a matter of fact, my belief is that fear of change is the ego. Of course the ego is a very powerful thing. Very convincing. Furthermore the ego leads us to believe it is protecting us. Saving us from failure and misery. As a matter of fact it is more often than not preventing growth. Fear is all about the possibility of error and loss. Clocks that can’t be turned back once you make that all important decision.
ANOTHER OBSERVATION FROM TEACHING…
During the last 15 years or so. Young people are having more difficulty in making even the smallest decisions. When the answer is obvious and you can’t get it wrong. Procrastination is the name of the game. Of course this is not helpful when you are in a moving vehicle. Taking into account all the possibilities is not something you having time for. Teaching a young mind to make snap decisions that may have awful consequences is contrary to modern education. So is this teaching them to be safe and sensible? Is avoiding procrastination a dangerous way to lead them ? Is being too careful preventing young people from growing? Evolving into experienced and knowledgable adults. Capable of making decisions that give life meaning.
CHANGE AND THE CRIPPLING FEAR OF IT
TEACHING OUR KIDS TO COPE WITH FEAR
Teaching our kids to cope with fear by giving them the love they need to build in confidence. Smother negative emotion with positive. We cannot and should not shield our children too much from the challenges of life. The best way to educate them is to show them how to process negative emotion in a positive way. This in turn will become a process where negative emotion doesn’t exist. Emotion that is difficult to deal with needs to be normalized because all of life is about balance. Negative and positive go hand in hand. Paradise just doesn’t exist in the real world or any world. Without the pain we cannot know what joy is.
So we can and must mix the spiritual with the physical to achieve a balance of heart and mind. Sensible and ” living a little “. Parental urges to protect our kids from feeling both emotional and physical pain is very strong. Society telling us over and over that it is bad parenting if your child suffers. Of course there is an obvious line between allowing your children to experience a balanced life of emotion before adulthood and abuse. That line comes down to how we as parents were brought up. Each generation blames the last instead of learning from it. Instead of blaming, lets take responsibility for our own rules of parenting. Teach our kids to learn from our mistakes and we should do the same with our parents before us. Parents are teachers not scapegoats! Not liking something our parents or even grandparents did is a learning experience, a positive. Not opportunities to get sympathy from others.
EMPATHY MOTIVATES, SYMPATHY BLOCKS
Empathy motivates people to help themselves. Sympathy helps us wallow in our painful experiences. Bitterness is something that comes from distant unresolved pain. From blaming those that hurt us for the fact we think we can’t move on from that pain. Instead thank those that hurt you, they have taught you a valuable lesson. the only thing to blame for their behavior is lack of education. Sympathy helps us believe that we are victims. The feelings and emotion that partners the word “victim” is a block to healing and moving forward with new knowledge.